Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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