Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
