I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I want to fling myself into the sun
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize