i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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