My room smells like vodka and shame
I could make wine with my vomit
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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