Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
