I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
