dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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