Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
