Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Farmville is her only friend.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
