Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My pussy is not your playground.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize