why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
