come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize