I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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