32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
wow bdsm is so cute
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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