i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
