Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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