I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
