I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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