can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
