i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
