Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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