How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
