That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
