So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize