At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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