Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
