do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
