please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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