Betty ford says i'm here all night
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
