is your mom at the bar?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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