I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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