I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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