I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
