It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
