i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
