Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
