singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
