Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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