If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
