You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
