My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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