Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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