Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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