I got chris browned last night
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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