his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
