My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
