i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
