he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
