You're so nebulous sometimes
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
