I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
