I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
