meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
nutella sex= disaster
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
