Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
