I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
