his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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