if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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