No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
