So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
