i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
