Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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